Say what you mean

"Great is the power of steady misrepresentation." Charles Darwin

"More bars in more places" AT&T

What they want you to think: You get better service in more places.

What you think they mean: You get better service in more places.

Reality check: The bars on a phone are not a measure of signal strength, its a measure of signal-to-noise ratio. A crappy signal with low noise gives more bars. Oh, and AT&T forced Apple to change the bars calculation (proving its bullshit), see the WSJ on it. So more bars in more places means that the algorithm to calculate the bars gives more bars, you still get crappy service, dropped calls and slow data.

"Own it today!" Blu-Ray

What they want you to think: You own the movie and do what you like with it.

What you think they mean: You own the movie and do what you like with it.

Reality check: You license the right to watch the movie subject to all and any restrictions they have placed on it, including forcing you to watch the piracy bit, all ads and previews, and preventing you from copying it to other devices for more convenient viewing. So own it on blu-ray means you own a piece of useless plastic, the content belongs to them.

"You’re in good hands with Allstate" Allstate

What they want you to think: If you insure with us, we'll pay when things go bad.

What you think they mean: If you insure with us, we'll pay when things go bad.

Reality Check: "For example, Allstate's CCPR manual says claims adjusters should strive to settle as many cases within the company's historical base range — the 10th percentile of all payouts. In other words, Allstate encourages its adjusters to settle as many claims as possible for no higher than what the company historically paid out on the lowest 10 percent of its claims." See here. And this "In July 2008, the American Association for Justice ranked Allstate No. 1 among nation's worst insurers. This ranking was given because: “While Allstate publicly touts its ‘good hands’ approach, it has instead privately instructed its agents to employ a ‘boxing gloves’ strategy against its policyholders,” said American Association for Justice CEO Jon Haber. “Allstate ducks, bobs and weaves to avoid paying claims to increase its profits.”[12]" from Wikipedia, yes Wikipedia!

"Higher standards" Bank of America

What they want you to think: We're a great bank.

What you think they mean: They are a great bank.

Reality Check: Higher fees. Oh and we'll stop you for performing legitimate transactions, see here.

"Fosters?Australian for beer." Fosters Australian Beer

What they want you to think: Its a great beer because Aussies who know great beer drink it.

What you think they mean: Its a great beer because Aussies who know great beer drink it.

Reality Check: Fosters Australian Beer is a British beer, made in Canada for the US market. Foster's Lager is an Aussie beer, available only in - wait for it - Australia!.

"Fair and Balanced" Fox News

What they want you to think: They provide factual unbiased news reporting.

What you think they mean: They provide factual unbiased news reporting.

Reality Check: They are biased as hell, and admit to it, see Slate. See also the wikipedia page. Its a 24 hour channel, with news on only between 9AM and 4PM, then 6PM - 8PM, only 9 hours of news out of the 24 hours available.

"Eat Fresh" Subway

What they want you to think: Eat at subway to get fresh food that is healthy for you.

What you think they mean: Eat at subway to get fresh food that is healthy for you.

Reality Check: They make the sandwich on baked bread in front of you, using old ingredients, processed meats and cheeses and curdled dressings, with huge calorie counts, sodium levels and cholesterol. But the bread is reasonably fresh.

"Made from the best stuff on Earth." Snapple

What they want you to think: Its made from fresh ingredients so it must be healthy.

What you think they mean: Its made from fresh ingredients so it must be healthy.

Reality Check: So you still have teeth left after drinking all that sugar, coloring and preservatives (Ok, I'll admit they use the best sugar, coloring and preservatives.)

"We know money" AIG

Enough said.